Diary of a Billionairess

The daily musings of a wealthy-one-percenter. Billionairess by day, Billionairess by night.

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On the front lines of the class war.

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Thursday, September 30, 2004

The Youth of America

Although they don't seem always to understand the key issues at stake in this election (more money for the moneyed) and they don't have a fine grasp on the finer points of spelling and grammar, the Angry 15 Year Olds for Bush certainly feel strongly about their candidate.

I suppose I can't really fault them. George Bush certainly showed that education is a privilege, not a right. And thank Heavens he did: when he underfunded the NCLB by $9.4 billion, he helped finance a $1.1 trillion tax cut for the very wealthiest - like me!

Unfortunately, that Hillary Clinton has recently introduced a bill that would fully fund NCLB.

Clearly, this is a foolish waste of funds. My hard-inherited money can stay right in my fur-lined pocket, so long as our children support the proper candidate. Luckily, I don't need to worry about blocking their votes...yet.


Monday, September 27, 2004

New Music Video

Our very own 50 Billion's new music video is up at the Billionaires for Bush website. The video has great artistic merit, and does a fine job detailing the way we Billionaires have gained influence over the White House.

Also, the new song "Don't Vote", which inagurates our "Block the Vote" campaign, is also available.

Happy listening!


Saturday, September 18, 2004

Party for Bush!

Sweetest ones,

Our dearest George W. Bush will be blessing our little town with his presence once again!

This Monday, September 20th, he will be attending a little party for some of his biggest donors at the Sheraton at 53d street and 7th avenue.

Of course, many Billionaires will be at the event. Some of you may not know this, but nearly half of our nation's billionaires have given money to Bush - while only 37 misguided billionaires have given money to Kerry.

With 90% of Bush's individual campaign contributions coming from the very wealthiest, and 80% of his PAC money coming from business interests, one can expect that the Billionaires will be there to welcome him to town!

I will be attending high tea before the event, but hope to get a glimpse of my favorite possession, the President himself. And of course, I hope to see all of you, my compatriots in the nation of wealth.

One Dollar One Vote,

Dee Regulation

Alan and Newt

Darlings, I've just come across this one -- here's our very own Alan Greenspend posing with Newt Gingrich on the Convention floor! It's such a delight to see that Newt admits he's in it to widen the income gap. During election season, our politicians so often seem to forget who bought them. Posted by Hello

Monday, September 13, 2004

Uptown for Plutocracy

Today I went with fellow Billionaires Robin Eublind, Lou Tamerica, and Bill Eons to the Downtown for Democracy street fair. We did a bit of outreach to the charming artists, and spread the Uptown for Plutocracy message just as well as we could.

We did have an unfortunate run in with the law, but our team of attorneys got us out in time for us to do a bit of dancing, and to buy some artists for our collections.

Huzzah for the patronage system,


Sunday, September 12, 2004

Lou Tamerica and Bill Eons arrived ready to make a statement.

Our faithful servant Bernardo is in the background. The man is simply indispensable. It's so difficult to get good help these days...thank heavens W keeps the overeducated underemployed!Posted by Hello

It's so rare that I stand on my own two feet, it simply must be for a worthy cause. Posted by Hello

Robin Eublind did some outreach to these young girls...you never know, one of them might marry rich! Posted by Hello

They weren't having it at all. These children said they couldn't be bought, and called us corrupt! They read out our signs and said terrible things about them. We've really got to make sure education remains a privilege and not a right, or so much more of this may happen.... Posted by Hello

The overeducated little twerps had us arrested! Posted by Hello

We could hardly believe it...imprisoned, and nowhere near Ken or Martha, either! Posted by Hello

Robin Eublind's seven-person legal team had all taken Sunday off! Well, there's 2 million and seven jobs lost..... Posted by Hello

I simply couldn't find my attorneys anywhere... Posted by Hello

I nearly collapsed from lack of champagne. Posted by Hello

Our legal team airlifted in some attorneys.Posted by Hello

Out of jail, and back on message. Posted by Hello

There were some charming performers. I'll need to hire this lovely young lady for one of my dos. Posted by Hello

 Posted by Hello

Although my family has some interests in agribusiness, we certainly don't eat that factory-farm rubbish. The folks at this tent had provisions that were much more Billionaire-appropriate. Posted by Hello

Middle-class media bias


Once again, our media employees have published beautiful pictures of us, but once again they mischaracterize our mission. Can someone's assistant please get on the phone with Time and tell them that there is no need for us to "use parody" to communicate our "belief" that this Administration has "favored the corporate elite at the expense of ordinary Americans"?

As I've reminded you all time and time again, it's no mere belief that our darling W has favored us....after all, as the top 1% of America received 52% of his tax cuts, that leaves only 48% for the bottom 99.

Who needs parody to get across such clear truth?

Saturday, September 11, 2004

Art Party tomorrow

Darlings -

Good news! The Billionaires will be putting in a special appearance at the Downtown for Democracy Street Fair tomorrow.

We have some quarrels, of course, with the notions of "downtown" (unless we're slumming) and "democracy" (why not just buy a politician?) but, as I've said before, we're always charmed when the differently-advantaged come out to play. In addition, I personally make the greatest effort to attend any event that includes a champagne brunch.

Hope to see you there!



Friday, September 10, 2004


Sweetest ones,

This new site makes an allegation about our President that could, if true, make even this wealthy one-percenter reconsider her support for him.

These folks suggest a Truth so shocking that even I, who have personally received handout after handout from this administration, might look elsewhere for a leader-in-name.

I don't know what to say. The Pleasure Boat Captains for Truth allege that our President W can't hold his liquor!

I will send my lawyers to investigate, as soon as they have finished giggling at the latest EPA directive.


Late Update

I should have known not to trust anyone in such an awful shirt as the middle-class boater in those ads! In fact, the PBCT's very website links to this page, which proves that not only could W drink before he quit, he still kept on swilling after he went on the wagon.

Now, that's my kind of man!

drinking up my tax cut,

Dee Regulation,

now, as always, a Billionaire for Bush.

Thursday, September 09, 2004

Art parties

Darlings -

Once again, a brief post as I am simply exhausted! This evening was quite a whirlwind of activity for this Billionairess.

I stopped by two gallery parties this evening with a select group of Billionaires for Bush - first at James Delavega's space, and then at Carlito's Cafe y Galeria.

It was a fascinating experience for me. Both galleries are on Lexington Avenue, which is, of course, quite familiar. But here's the catch - Delavega's space is on 103d street, and Carlito's on 106th! I had absolutely no idea that the streets went up above 96th street, but it was an absolute pleasure, as always, to be in Connecticut!

I must say, though, that I was surprised by the goings-on at Carlito's. I knew that the exhibit was about President Bush's domestic policy, so of course I went along to support. Any man who widens the income gap so much deserves all the support I can give him, and I think the financial help isn't enough (though I do thank the two-thirds of American billionaires who've written him such big checks!).

But here's the strange thing, darlings - apparently the folks at Carlito's were less than happy with the man! They had all sorts of little complaints about the jobs lost, services cut, and other such rubbish.

I ask you this: why don't they buy their own president?


Miss Appropriation, dressed for success. Posted by Hello

Before we went to the reception at Artists for Change, we stopped by James Delavega's gallery. Turns out he's a fan of ours! In addition, he tells us that he's running for State Senate. He's trying to get people to vote for him. Such a charming, old-fashioned way to get into office. I do think that elections are awfully last-millenium, but they are so artistic.... Posted by Hello

The exhibit's title was "Bushboozled." I don't understand that at all -- the man gave up drinking simply ages ago! Posted by Hello

It was really terrific to see so many faithful representations of our Administration. Posted by Hello

We were the toast of the evening. Posted by Hello

Tuesday, September 07, 2004



The Village Voice has done a little writeup of our Coronation Ball in the "Fly Life" column. It does mention our special guest and pre-Billionaire Andre 3000, but unfortunately refers to us as "fake" rich people.

I can't tell you how often I need to tell people that I am just as genuinely wealthy as I am genuinely Republican....



Thursday, September 02, 2004

Whose Media? Our Media!


I've recently had to correct one of our media employees. See below:



The poor man tried to write a piece about the Billionaires, but was misled into finding us "ironic!"

I set him straight.

You know, I've been simply glowing for the cause, lately, but I suppose that's expected

On the front lines of the class war,


Swift Yacht Vets for Bush


Good news! A new front has opened in the war of "shadowy 527s." Those nasty folks at MoveOn won't be able to spread their lies about the president's character any more. The people at Swift Yacht Vets for Bush will set them straight.

I'm off to have my forehead redone, so ta for now.

In Solvent Solidarity,


Wretched morning


I was out too, too late at the Billionaires' Coronation ball last night so I must be brief.

This week has been a whirlwind of activities on behalf of our President and all his little friends (Hi Dick!) and this afternoon I plan to rest, and to allow my masseuse to tend to my poor tired feet.

However, I will be posting pictures from our little party and updating you all on the issues.



Celebrating with Monet Oliver D'Place. Posted by Hello

George and his subjects. Posted by Hello

His adoring public. Posted by Hello

King George receives his crown Posted by Hello

The W was melting like my heart. I'd just seen Cheney earlier that evening, you see... Posted by Hello